my fever's running higher.
cuz im pissed.dad just snapped the modem off when i was on msn.
grr.
*coughs*
cool down boy.cant afford to get anymore pissed.you need your body for tmr.
one thing. i think the security and privacy of this blog has been trespassed.
SOMEONE whom i know has invaded.but wth.who cares.
somehow or another.i dunno how the hell this happened.
im coughing.quite badly
my eyes are blurred.
and im going to do surveys at Orchad road.weehs*unenthu*
dunno how to finish revising.
where are you going to find the strength,kaori? your time is short.and running out soon.
i shall stop lamenting i guess.
i still have a lond day ahead.a long way ahead too.
felicia.i miss you.take care.seeya back home soon.
buddha..bless me.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
im not a stone, and i have feelings too.
im no Dementor, but i do thrive on happiness.
i don't remove happiness from people for selfish gains.
i don't think i can hang on much longer.
im too tired to cry, anyway.
this morning.
asked him to sign my giro form for pw.
she already told me that she told him to sign.but he didnt.so i went to ask.
he took the form.stoned there for awhile.
after i wanted to collect from him.i realised the form and pen was on the table.
unsigned.and he went to toilet.
was his toilet more impt than the from i had to hand in (supposedly today even if i didnt go school) ?
no.i just left without a word.
evening.back home.she asked about the dragon boat thing which i seriously wanted to go.
she exploded.again.for no known reason.
i just had to pull the trigger unconsciously.
this life sucks.HURT
My grades / mediocre
yet mostly / below failure
my dad / self-dismissal
sometimes I think / he's a loser
Got a job / from a friend
voluntary OT / then lament
(then whats the point of working?)
He thinks he can live without working
When his family starts collapsing
Chorus:
I feel your hurt / that outburst of emotion
I know your hurt / your words tell me so
I see your hurt / but I don't know / how to help you
You keep assuming / unbelieving
everything I say / I do
But i know / my credibility
is somewhat / or rather empty
Sadly all you see / thy rotten side of thee
when you force him out / there's no escape
A war starts / and that's too late
*Chorus
Your pain / no gain / is that all you feel
Him, I'll never be / cuz I am me / and me you will see
Your silver lining darkened / yet I have fully awakened
in time before the storm..
*Chorus
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
im leaving school soon.
so tired.
didnt have enough sleep for the past 2 nights.
why? gpp lor. and now im damn pissed agn.with chris of course.
she just didnt complete what she was supposed to do.
john was thinking she could be too sick to even do much research.
well thats a possibility.
we agreed that it couldnt be a miscomm cuz on last sat we talked and allocated all jobs properly before the guys left.she even said she'll deal everything about the sponsors.
ytd when adi, john me were rushing at hub to complete that damn piece of gpp
i told adi to call her cuz she hasnt sent us her research and done up work.
guess what she sent us?
3 notepad files that were 10kb large.*laughs sarcastically*.
even john was shocked.and pissed. i mean, as in really pissed. oh finally john.
i was sick and tired of sitting in front of the com and typing gpp and reseraching some half-done work left by chris. i mean, she was supposed to complete all those before sending to us for compilation!
freak lah. then adi sneezed.she was sick. then she didnt appear in school.a high fever.poor thing.slept for 2 hrs on monday night, and 3 on tuesday night.
at home while having dinner.i sneezed.told cheryl i was sick..and didint feel like going school today.but i still did.ah what the hell.
finished the lib ppt slides.yunwei told me sylvia and i are i/c for the investiture.i was like wth?! when i dont even have time to sleep! i was i/c for the investiture script (and most probably emcee i hope not *crosses fingers*). just great.
this funny lady called my house no. last night.said she was from dunno what company wanting to do a general public opinion survey.and i was like "uh could you please give me a minute?" and ok course she had to say sure. but i didnt just hang up the phone okkkay.i am trustworthy x)
*pressed "hold button*
*silly childish music plays*
went to ask ma.obviously she didnt want.it was like 3 mins lah. plus i had to do..uh something.like...study.
*releases "hold" button* see i told you! i would pick it up okkkkay.
"um sorry miss im not interested.Tha.."
"Its only 3 minutes.its a very short survey."
"really miss.Im realllly not interested."
"Why can't you help? its only 3 minutes"
that's it.
"It is because this is MY choice.Thank you and bye-bye."
*presses receiver*
PW Survey fatality #1: NEVER ask why-cant-you-help-me-out-with-this-survey.Other people arent as kind as me.they'll just spit in your face and i'm serious about that.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
that's it.
when i say that's it, it's really that's it.
Those who treasure friendship will not just pangseh you the very last minute, won't call you to inform you they really cant make it, and call some unrelated person to substitute your place without telling you also.
I know that I will never do that after i promised someone to go somewhere or do something cuz thats a breach in trust.
And you broke that virtue, Nishikawara. You just did.
To tell you truthfully, I'm not sure whether to continue where it all started.I thought you were someone that I could believe in.Up till this point in time....Im sad to say that maybe i even trust SY. Its not that Im being petty or sth...but these small things that may seem insignificant is really significant.
That trust that I had in you has diminished iteself to a few pathetic scraps.
im on the verge of an exploding sickness.which is very likely to leave me deflated for a few days in bed.
wth lah.pw is killing me.
im very pissed with someone in my group too.bah.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
plus i always get maligned for doing things i never do.
now that's extremely sad.for me, that is.
...
5/03/2007 07:55:00 PMit's either the position of the stars that turned the opposite direction
or my guardian spirits are just walking out on me.
how fucked can my life get?
yesterday.
hustings.
what a total disaster. not only did i not tell them what i wanted to
but i just totally stunned there during the whole q&a session cuz i couldnt get over what the hell just happened to me.
although i gotta admit the song was ok.
words just failed to come out.my throat somehow got constricted.
oh fuck.i like totally blew it.fuck.
just now.told me TPK called to irritate her.
like i care the fuck about that fucking bitch.
came to tell me that she told her "huh? dunno what your son is doing right? just like my daughter."
well,implying that i will end up in a worser fate than her.wtf.
those words hurt like hell.my heart stopped momentarily-thought i was gonna pass out cuz i couldnt take it.
well.you were right.im an optimist.im very positive.to the extent that i could save myself from cracking at the brink of insanity.
and you said. "我不須要你望子成龍,你不要望子成蟲就可以了!" cuz TPK said "you don't want him to go fky cuz you want 望子成龍 right?"
bloody hell.now im comparable to a worm.
fuck lah.
things are becoming more and more predictable-yet i am in no position to halt impending disasters.
why?
why have i become so useless?
im too tired.screwed up two major lecture tests today.
and got screwed again by her, naturally.
zo' and liang didnt come school today.wonder if they're alright.
dun tell me i have to do the debate thing during gp tmr.
i'll just go tell mr wilson i just had war at home.
should i.or should i not.sighs.
when did i become so vulgar?
sighs.